My funny (tight-arsed) Valentine...

Happy Valentine's Day lovely person.
I would absolutely hate Valentine's Day if I wasn't such a soppy sucker. V Day is really just an an excuse to conduct myself with the kind of dreamy suggestiveness I wish I had the stamina to pull off every day  (most  days I fail even to shower). Lisa and I have a couple of traditions when observing this, the most cringey of holidays...

1) A really filthy Valentine's Day card  - Thankfully, all soppy cards tend to have little pictures of birds / foxes / cats /teddy bears / spoons / bread slices representing a man and a woman, so we couldn't go near them even if we wanted to.  Due to conveniently stereotyped views of blokes, cards directed to them or from them can really push the limits of awesome filthiness...  opening a wide spread of options if you're a pair of black humoured lesbians.

2) An M&S Dine in for 2 Valentine's Day meal - Seriously - why go out into the world when this shit is £10 per head:

3) A crappy (and totally from the heart) V Day gift. Last year I went all out and commissioned the ridiculously talented Caragh Brooks for one of her awesome NOODZ (honestly - totally nailed that gift, which now sits proudly on our piano to terrify our guests. You need one of these)... so this year, I thought I'd show my cuter, embarrassingly-stunted-in-the kitchen side with this little cookie message. In tracking down a good butter cookie recipe, I of course referred to Lisa's dream woman (who doesn't want to be reminded that there's a step up from you out in the world, especially on Valentine's Day) - the domestic goddess herself, Nigella. _Add a few M&S alphabet cookie cutters, a bit of hideous icing and... voila!

 Of course, I didn't want young Hettie to feel left out, so I whipped her up these peanut butter and banana bikkies - which, to be fair, will likely taste better than Lisa's.

I hope your lover / pal / credit card has spoiled you today, and i'd love to hear what you gave and received (err... gifts, that is). Go on, drop a comment below!