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FOOD: Once Upon A Tart...

17/4/2016

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Cake Love is in the detail Hayley Angell

Food Review: Once Upon A Tart, 45 King St, Glasgow G1 5RA

From one old tart to another, this is - without doubt - my food-of-any-and-all-types eating fantasy. Since first I cast my eyes over those four magical words: Once. Upon. A. Tart. (well, technically three words and a letter, but now you're just being pedantic) I knew deep within the core of my vintage-kitsch loving soul that this cafe and I were destined for a long and cake-filled life together. Let's not dwell on the fact that it took me 5 months to actually walk through the door... 
Emerging from my West End nest for an early event, I thought it best to maximise the opportunity of being showered and dressed before noon (okay, okay - 3pm). A quick text to a pal (also shocked that I was dressed and generally functioning in society) and by the time I legged from the far end of Duke Street to the welcome mat of my dessert Mecca, she was by my side and also beginning to ever-so-slightly-creepily salivate at the sight...
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the detail Cake
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the detail Cake
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the detail Cake
It was breakfast to start - trembling eggs for Patricia and a sausage sarnie kissed by the Gods for Moi.... 
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail Breakfast
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail Breakfast
This perfect first course was deftly devoured before moving to feast our eyes on the glass-domed buffet of baked goods before us. Cakes, desserts and delicious treats of every shape, style and colour - from chocolate-rich to berry-stuffed.... being unfussy to a fault, I gave my pal the honour of choosing a slice for us to share.
Big mistake.

The human-being-formerly-known-as-my-friend chose THE ONE DAMNED CAKE THAT DID NOT CONTAIN CREAM OF ANY KIND. I mean, really? Come on? We're looking at Chocolate Orange cake with ACTUAL TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGES ON TOP and you choose the loafy looking thing? Pah! Like the big-hearted and deeply passive-aggressive person I am I conceded to this crumb-creating abomination and returned to my seat.
And then it arrived...

Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail Cake
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail Cake
So... umm... these photos do not even do this cake justice. Soft, fluffy and moist beyond belief. With berries to die for, the cake's perfect crust was a thing of true beauty. So, yeah, I apologised. Profusely. The girl's got some cake-choosing skills on her. Though, between you and me, I don't think it was a lucky punt - I reckon these cakes are bloody fool-proof. Of course, in the spirit of research I shall sacrifice myself on the foodie review alter to try out each and every one. What can I say, I'm a giver?!

Oh, and the best bit? Once Upon a Tart is pooch-proud and wholeheartedly dog-friendly. So - If you're in Glasgow - Hettie and I will see you there! xxx
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail
Crazily kitsch interiors...
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail
Once Upon a Tart Love is in the Detail
A bit of Aussie nectar on hand!

Sample more Love Blog goodies here...

  • My funny (tight-arsed) Valentine... DIY cookie letters with heart!
  • Turning 30... (almost) nailed it. Featuring: #failcake
  • Chalk it up as a damn fine blackboard tutorial (that'll only cost a quid)
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