In case the heading off this website didn't make it excruciatingly obvious: I have a big bum. The thing about big bums is they tend to be bolstered by big thighs, which are in turn bolstered by big calves and so on and so forth. Unless of course you are like my friend Laureen and your hypnotic, full booty is balanced upon equally delicious long legs. But we're not talking about her.
I can only assume there are thousands of unopened letters to publishers of sewing books from angry readers demanding to be refunded for the printing cost of the napkin “pattern” they just discovered splayed across pages 6 and 7 of their latest purchase. I am sorry if you yourself have published an annotated collection of summative essays detailing the subtle art of sewing squares, but for everyone else, I think you’d appreciate that a 2-page illustrated napkin guide is kind of overkill.
Recently my quintessentially lovable friend Caroline dropped the ultimate bombshell for any aspiring-but-still-at-the-completely-hopeless-stage seamstress. You see, Caroline is getting married. In fact, she is marrying a Brazilian in Brazil at the height of the Brazilian summer. Devastatingly I am unable to be there so, of course, I would love to do something to be involved in the day in my own little way. Despite all of this, nothing prepares you for that text: “I’ve got an idea for a wedding dress…” *gulp*
It occurred to me in the shower the other day (ah, the shower – the source of all thoughts worth thinking) that my life, or rather, my online/shared/documented life was very much like one of those barely memorable home auction shows from the early-90s. You know the ones? Location, Location, Homes Under the Hammer, Flog My Joint Because I can’t bare the Sight of It for One More Minute, that sort of thing. These shows were essentially edited in the same (apparently successful) formulaic manner:
A big dollop of love from my finger tips to your screen (I promise that's not as creepy as it sounds). xx