Style Overhaul Part 1 : All aboard the HMS Decluttery

Part 1 of a 3-Part Style Overhaul Series, including:

1. All Aboard the HMS Decluttery
2. A choppin' and a changin' - 3 simple style alterations
3. Stop. You't not actually going to wear THAT top with THAT skirt again, are you?

Now, be honest. When was the last time you overhauled your wardrobe / cupboards / the crumpled heap  shoved behind your bedroom door? 6 month? A year? 5 Years? 25 years (if this is you, then we need to talk measurements and your willingness for me to riffle through your things). I recent stumbled on an invite for a Shake Up Your Style workshop hosted by Lifestyle Lab and - while I'm not one for white denim jackets or shorts of any and all descriptions - I did find myself reluctantly inspired to finally attack The Overstuffed Hell Hole aka my wardrobe (theoretically "shared" with Lisa: she's been generously allotted 7 hangers and one entire shelf). With a spring in my step and an irritating-pop-song-on-endless-loop in my heart, I decided to delve into its murky depths...

I guess the problem is: I like clothes. I also quite like rehashing prior mumblings that, once re-read, are actually refreshingly lucid. So before launching Operation Restore Lisa's Rightful Half, I revisited some previous thoughts on how best to sort the diamonds from the rough via the deeply sophisticated art of tossing clothing into heaping piles. So, grab a cuppa, throw open your wardrobe doors and up-end your cupboard drawers... things are about to get messy.

​Pile 1: It’s awesome, perfect and you want to be buried in it.

Every item in pile #1 is not only a keeper, it is essentially a vivid reminder of how brilliantly stylish you are for having had the insight to buy it in the first place. There is nothing more to do with this pile but bask in its (and your) awesomeness... though, we'll be taking another peek at its contents in Style Overhaul Part 3.

​Pile 2: It’s not quite right but you could/used to/want to love it.

These are items you no longer wear (or have never worn) for all sorts of weird and wonderful reasons. It's an awkward fit, you have nothing to wear it with, it's out-of-date, it's outside your comfort zone (you were feeling all "I can TOTALLY rock a bomber jacket, right?!" the day you bought it... you Style Maverick, you), it's damaged but still insanely fabulous in the most part or it's just a tiny bit... meh. Usually when you push yourself to wear something from this pile you:

1. Stare at yourself in the mirror for 30 minutes
2. Tug and pull at it for 27 of those 30mins
3. Pair it with every possible accessory/outfit combination
4. Rip it off, shove it back in your cupboard and reach for the gooey comfort of an Old Faithful from pile #1.

Keep this wonderful pile aside - we'll come back to them in Style Overhaul Part 2 (pssst - this is definitely where the goodies are!).

Pile 3: It’s heinous and needs to go.

As it says on the tin.  Okay, perhaps it’s not heinous, but you haven't worn it in a year, you kind of forgot you even owned it (and were not all that excited to rediscover it), it's probably either stretched or discoloured or you have 15 others that look just like it (I'm looking at you, breton stripe wearers). Honey, let it go. These items are destined for one of two places:

1. The bin 
2. In a bag (that looks suspiciously like the one used directly above) to be donated to charity for some as-yet-unknown but dreadfully-lucky-shopper-who-will-breathe-new-life-into-it-via-a-series-of-narcissistic-Instagram-posts (or is that just me??), while at the same time donating much-needed funds to awesome charities. You're changing lives, you are.

(Please, for heaven's sake, don't mix up the 'bin' bag and 'charity donations' bag. Volunteers tend to quit pretty swiftly after thrusting their hand into a bag of vacuum cleaner dust and mouldy banana skins). 

Carry on until you've allocated  the final item....

"Hurrah! You've just earned yourself a bottle of bubbles, a tub of ice-cream and 2-5 hours of The Real Housewives of Melbourne.  Afterwards, you have to DO THE WHOLE BLEEDING LOT AGAIN with your shoes, handbags, jewellery and accessories. Having just finished my own mass-decluttering, I thought I'd share a few little gems now destined for new owners...

What style horrors have you found?? Go on, share in the comments below...

For more love blog goodies...

• How to Vintage Kilo Sale: 5 Kilo Sale Commandments
• Grappling with Charm, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent
• Vintage Style Challenge 2: Nottingham